Alaltaieri din tren am vazut pe un peron o tipa sarutand un tip si mi-am dat seama ca exista si saruturi egoiste. SI eu care-l credeam pe Minulescu universal valabil cu "Corpul femeii se vinde, sarutarea se daruieste..."

And all I can think of now is why the world always seems to hit me in the head when I want more than what is "conveniently available."

"I have almost no time to do any elective thinking." (Salinger - Franny and Zooey)

When told by his mother that he should get married, Zooey replied "I like to ride in trains too much. You never ge tto sit next to the window any more when you're married." (Salinger - Franny and Zooey)

"Don't you want to join us?" I was recently asked by an aquaintance when he ran across me alone after midnight in a coffeehouse that was already almost deserted. "No, I don't," I said.
-Kafka

The happiness of being with people.
-Kafka

It loved to happen.
- Marcus Aurelius

O snail
Climb Mount Fuji,
But slowly, slowly!
-Issa.

I called Yana at 3 am (she only goes to sleep around 4) and incidentally she was thinking of "how to organize a man into something sensible"... :)

..

l

Cand eram mica credeam ca trecutul e mai plin de stupizenii decat prezentul, aveam convingerea asta, ca viitorul imi va aduce ceva nou... acum stiu ca era fiindca nu apucasem sa vad destule stupizenii... 'traim vremuri tulburi,' ce porcarie... tulburi au fost si tulburi vor fi... de parca oamenii nu vor limpezime, vremurile tulburi sunt mai palpitante...lumea asta nu progreseaza... chiar deloc....
M-am plimbat si printr-un parc de distractii... tot felul de masinarii, dulciuri, scary houses, ma rog, orice, ca sa scoata banii dupa oameni... marylin monroe pictata kitch pe un pavilion... si o statuie cu ea langa trenuletele "starurilor".... cine ar vrea sa ajunga o statuie uriasa de plastic langa niste trenulete intr-un fair? daca si numai pt asta, merita sa nu devii "vedeta".... La unul dintre standuri am stat si am privit fata care vindea bilete... avea o frumusete extraordinara si uitandu-ma in jur ma miram ca doar eu o observam. Privea absenta si in gol, chiar si atunci cand dadea biletele... ma intrebam la ce se gandea oare, la cine...

Iarasi am o stare de nebine... STARE DE NEBINE....

Am dilema părului: lung sau scurt? lung sau scurt? lung sau scurt? lung sau scurt?

!!!

And you play the same game
the orphan game
the ragged winter game
that says, I am alone
(hungry: I know you want me
to play it also)
the game of the waif who stands
at every picture window,
shivering, pinch nose pressed
against the glass, the snow
cllecting on his neck,
watching the happy families
(a game of envy)
Yet he despises them: they are so
Victorian Christmas-card:
[...]
ribboned suburban laughter
and they have their own forms
of parlour
games: father and mother
playing father and mother

He's glad
to be left
out by himself
in the cold
(hugging himself).

When I tell you this,
you say (with a smile fake
as a tinsel icicle):
You do it too.
Which in some ways
is a lie, but also I suppose
is right, as usual:
although I tend to pose
in other seasons
outside other windows.

Margaret Atwood - "The Circle Game"

Pink Floyd The Wall



"all in all it's just another.... brick in the wall...."
ciudat de dureros filmul. M-am identificat intr-atat incat era fizic o durere. A fost un chin sa-l vad pana la capat, din cauza sentimentului de "greutate" pe care mi-l dadea. It's not just about the exagerrated British school system, it's about an entire life, turning into a wall, and breaking it down.

"The proper understanding of what Kant means by the good will being the greatest intrinsic value is that the good will involves a desire to do one's duty for duty's sake alone. " - what sort of nonsense is that?! duty for duty's sake?! pleaseeee.....

oamenii dependenti de droguri de fapt fug de ei insisi, de singuratatea lor,
falsa rezolvare.

" Why do virtually all of the world's religions associate the left with that which is evil or dirty? According to Langford (1984), sun-worship may be to blame. The majority of humankind also always lived in the northern hemisphere, and therefore, when tracking the sun across the sky, most will have faced south, following the path of the sun from left to right. Earliest forms of religion manifested themselves through sun worship, and very early on humankind may have developed an association between rightward movement and what is good. Vestiges of our tendency to track the sun from left to right still remain today. Clocks go in this direction, and so do compasses. Even the Japanese word for left, "hidari", was derived from the words for "sun" and "on". "

"If home is only the parental home, it is no thread; it is only the past. Letters written by parents are messages from a shore we are foresaking; all they can do is make us aware of how far we've strayed from the port we left, enveloped in the slefless devotion of our loved ones. Yes, their letters say, the port still exists, it's still there in all its' comforting, pristine beauty; but the road back , the way back is lost."
Kundera - The Joke

Imi vine greu sa citesc in engleza dupa ce citesc mult in romana... de parca creierului meu i-ar lua o vreme pana sa-si schimbe setul de coduri. Ma enerveaza timpul in care citesc mai incet, pana ma acomodez cu cealalta limba... Si stiu ca asta ma incetineste... ar trebui sa nu mai citesc decat intr-una din limbi ca sa ajung sa citesc mai repede, adica mai mult. Cafeaua ajuta.

As vrea sa plec in lume. Poate ca alergand incontinuu, fugind mereu as sfarsi prin a ma linisti. A inceput sa-mi fie teama de viata in mod practic. Sunt atat de straini si neomenosi oamenii. O bizara revenire la barbarie. Legile cele mai crude se stabilesc si se instaureaza in mod tacit si oamenii le traiesc in ei fara nici o reactiune.
- Jeni Acterian

A Childish Prank

Man's and woman's bodies lay without souls
Dully gaping, foolishly staring, inert
On the flowers of Eden.
God pondered.

The problem was so great, it dragged him asleep.

Crow laughed.
He bit the Worm, God's only son,
Into two writhing halves.

He stuffed into man the tail half
With the wounded end hanging out

He stuffed the head half headfirst into woman
And it crept in deeper and up
To peer out through her eyes
Calling its tail-half to join up quickly, quickly
Because O it was painful.

Man awoke being dragged accross the grass.
Woman awoke to see him coming.
Neither knew what had happened.

God went on sleeping.

Crow went on laughing.

- Ted Hughes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Barcelona, ciudad del' sol~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azi mi s-a spus, desi in contextul gresit: "You're a potential loser." Foarte adevarat...

In ultimul timp am tot pus intrebarea "care este cel mai important lucru in viata asta?" sau ceva in genul asta... Stiu, suna stupid, dar am intrebat oameni inteligenti, si m-a socat faptul ca am primit raspunsuri extrem de diferite:

Luc - Life makes no sense, death makes no sense, the only thing which matters is pleasure.

Molly - Cred ca cel mai important este sa invat cat mai mult (nu zic in sensul academic) si sa aduc niste fericire, mie si celorlalti.

Ira - Sa il glorific pe Dumnezeu. (mi s-a parut chiar absurd raspunsul asta, dar poate pt ca sunt qvasi-atee. "Ce inseamna sa il glorifici?" Am intrebat. A zis ca inseamna sa faci ceea ce el iti spune. "Si cum iti spune ce vrea ca tu sa faci?" am intrebat. "Prin Biblie, si prin alte feluri, dar in principal prin Biblie." ) Ciudaaaaattttt.....

Mitko - Moving, physically and mentally. Life is all about motion.

Adri - Sa iti "implinesti chemarea". (E luata - pe drept sau...? - din contextul: "Cand tragi linie in viata si vezi ce ai realizat iti raman doar copiii.Materialul dispare [...]... Ar ttebui sa faci ceea ce-ti place, dar trebuie sa fie mai mult de atat ca sa te simti implinit. Trebuie sa fie ceva in ce crezi. [...] De-aia eu ma bucur ca ti-ai ales sa faci altceva decat mate-info. Macar tu iti cauti chemarea. Eu nici macar nu am cautat-o si mai vreau si s-o gasesc.")

Eu cred - si Alex, sunt sigura, e de acord cu mine in privinta asta - cel mai important lucru e sa iti gasesti MIEZUL. Prin viata si moartea cea fara de sens cum zice Luc :)... sa presari fericire adanca - desi temporara -, si nu doar placere...

never mind.

Eu cred ca mediocritatea mea suferinda care se straduie (la desen, fotografie, viata, etc.) ma face sa imi fiu mie insami mai draga. Parca mi-as spune: Si ce daca nu reusesc? BRAVO MIE ca ma straduiesc!

(Imi place sa zic el "se straduie" in loc de "se straduieste", asa cum lui Alex ii place sa spuna "camdeodata" in loc de "deocamdata".)

"All babies are crying
for no-one remembers God's name..."

Sinead O'Connor